"Love? I like love! Love me! I will love you... love love love... love, love, love... I will give you great big, step on your tummy, crush you like a bug love...... love love love... love love!"
Yes, this is satire.Firstly, it is important to make the decision, when it becomes apparent to you that you are either afraid of God, mad at God, or mad at yourself, or unable to forgive yourself, that you not follow the angel sent to fetch you and take you through the tunnel and into the light,.When you hear the angel saying "It's OK. You are completely OK." completely reject the idea that it could ever be possible for God to consider you as being completely OK and replace that idea with all the reasons why it must be impossible for you to be OK and completely loved by God. When you feel the all encompassing love of God throughout your entire being, infusing the very essence of your being.... be very, very afraid... and reject it.Next, judge yourself harshly, and at the same time, be thoroughly terrified of God's judgment. Think of God as a really harsh judge, too. Really harsh. So harsh that the negative judgment you hold for yourself is only about 1 to the negative 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 of what God will hold against you if you go through the tunnel into the light. Be thoroughly terrified of having your life review.Completely forget that the bible repeats over, and over, and over again the importance of letting go of holding yourself and others in judgment.Judge God as being unfair because you didn't get of have what you thought you wanted or thought were supposed to have in this lifetime. Be attached to what you didn't get, and be angry and upset about it.Generally feel sorry for yourself and wallow in your pain.Be completely attached to your pain and totally identify with it.Do not let your pain go and do not give yourself, or God, a break from it.Then wander around bugging the living, who will still be able to feel your pain and be upset and creeped out by it, and you moaning about it ... for ages.
It may have been the tent camping that did it, or it could just have been the extra high energy at Telluride, but I came home to intense headaches. My good friend Juanita offered me some Reiki on Friday and I gladly took her up on that. Within a few minutes of the Reiki treatment starting, I found myself propelled backwards in time to the Highlands of Scotland in late 1200's. I felt had been trying to carry a message to my community of an impending hostile military action or raid, when I fell into a river and succumbed to exposure, dying before I could make it home to warn my family and friends.I felt I had failed, myself and everyone I loved and wanted to protect. An intense feeling of "making the wrong decision" hung over me as fear and dread. If I had failed so long ago to make the right decision (cross the river/not cross the river) what could I expect from myself in terms of making a right decision that might affect my loved ones and community now? This close identification with this person from the past, and their fate and the fate of their community was so heavy and thick, my neck and head were screaming from the pain of it. After that Reiki treatment I began treating myself with Reiki in earnest. More lifetimes of personalities experiencing fear, doubt, dread and the feeling of "failure" and also just of intense fear... the fear of being "extinguished" of "existing no more" came up. It felt as if the ego structures of these previous lifetime experiences were all screaming "I exist! Remember me! I exist! What will happen if I no longer exist? I must exist, I must... otherwise I will not exist and that possibility is too terrifying to consider!At some point in this dialogue of fear about existence versus non-existence, I realized that I needed to let go of my identification with the past... past lifetimes, past learning experiences that were difficult, past trauma... past ego structures, and past pain bodies. It was when I identified with these past selves and their stories that I felt the most pain. But when I affirmed that I "let them go" and "let go of identifying" with them, I began to feel better and experience a sense of peacefulness... and painlessness.Are you feeling pain? If you are, ask yourself this question... whose pain is it?and"What, or who, is this pain serving?"You don't need an immediate answer to these questions... just ask.
